#140: There is freedom within.

 

2022 is THE YEAR that I approached life differently, and it works.

For someone who is very detached from her emotions - I'm starting to feel deeply about a lot of things. Maybe because I am approaching life from a different perspective now. I am starting to feel grateful for the little things. 

I used to be very rigid. "Going with the flow" does not exactly exist in my life dictionary. I used to be someone who likes to plan things and god behold if something does not follow the path or plan, I will lose my shit.

But, ever since I started living in the present - being grateful for every little thing that comes across me, a lot of things changed. I now understand the joy of "going with the flow", whatever happens, happens. 

I enjoy that sunlight that tries to peep through my sheer room curtain in the morning.

I enjoy the sound that my coffee machine makes in my house kitchen while I dial into my daily work calls.

I enjoy the adrenaline rush that I feel from the back-to-back work calls, and hectic catchup on deadlines.

I enjoy the sweet nothingness from just lying in my bed, staring onto my bedroom ceiling after a productive work day.

I enjoy the random messages that my friends would send in the WhatsApp Group, and how I would laugh at every little thing even when it isn't really that hilarious.

I enjoy the anxiety I go through every night when I'm trying to close a trade, worrying if my profit would be higher than I did yesterday and then the feeling of relief when it's always a profit.

I enjoy my own company in bed, with a book accompanied by my fav lilac vanilla scented candle and a soothing hot tea before I sleep.

I truly enjoy this cycle. It sounds boring to some. But I find joy in every one that I just said. And that truly changed my life. I am less grumpy, I've stopped questioning life, instead I get very content with what I have. It is truly a blessing that many couldn't get and I am ever so grateful for it. 

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I also realized that when I started approaching life in this manner - every other aspect in my life follows through too. Maybe because I worry less of the outcome of tomorrow. What matters is that I live it fully right now in the moment. 

At work, my productivity increased and that led to even more quality work done. Eventually, that led to grade promotion. And of course, it builds better relationships between my colleagues and me.

While in the dating department, I am more at peace in it because I've stopped worrying if the person that I'm dating would like me and proceed further etc. Instead, I just enjoy his company and just let it flow ya know? Wherever it takes us. If it's meant to be, it would be. And this thing should be easy. Why do one have to fight so hard at the start? Is it really a journey worth fighting for and then what? Keep fighting to make it stay and last? Nah, does not sound right. This should be just an additional aspect in my life and it should just come as it is. 

Everything that I do, just follows through. It is truly amazing.

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I already have such great people surrounding me - loving family & friends, supportive colleagues, no-fuss housemates, and manageable work stakeholders. Also, 2022 has already been great financially for me - I am so near to debt free life. What else do I need, really.

Live in the present. Follow the flow.

Don't let the past & future rob you off your own happiness.

Still do not have a sign-off,

Tasy