#132: Skin to bone;

“All the time I just want to let go. All the time I just want to fuck it up and say hey ho.”

Ask me what’s the feeling of finally being done with studying. Go ahead. Ask me.

It’s like you could finally breathe again after your chest is being pushed so hard that the pain grows in you up until your throat, strangling every possible part of your body. You breathe, and you lie on a wide field of green grass with flower petals on them, and could finally enjoy the sun and clouds; the light that you’ve been yearning to feel after being so caught up with books. You breathe and enjoy every sip of air that you could take in. So peaceful and beautiful.

I’ve been sleeping the whole day. Rolling on bed, doing a vertical celebratory dance on bed. Getting serious attachment with my bed like never before. Don’t even feel like I want to move around or pack my things so I could get out of college as soon as possible. I just want to forget that I have a flight to catch in a day time. I just want to be lazy and happy. Mostly just lazy. My vacation plans could wait a little more as I get down with serious business with my bed.

Come, let’s understand (or at least pretend) these peculiar and mixed feelings of mine, and lie beside me and laugh to “Gone the days where I have to adapt to a society that I don’t belong to.” (Yes, I’m not even sad to leave my university life and the people involved with it.)

Cheers to Natasya graduating and getting a bachelor degree. Cheers to Natasya finally being released from a society that she doesn’t belong to. Cheers to Natasya being happy, like finally. And definitely cheers to Natasya that breathes.

Loves, xx

Listening to: Pilgrim by MØ

#131: Young Blood

Truth to be told, I am quite pessimistic for an optimist. I always have this positive mind set, but always expect the worst. I’m still trying to figure myself out, on why I often react in such a way. I came to a conclusion that, maybe, these fears of losing someone, something have put me in such shoes.

Being me, I actually expected my last semester as an Undergraduate Student would suck so much as my life always gets worse when it comes to the end of the year. But surprisingly, it’s the other way round. I am spending every day of this last semester, cherishing the little things that I have never imagine myself cherish. The smiles on each of my course mates, the crazy courage to make the first move on a guy, the laughter that crack my jaw every time I spend my time with my gang, the progress of my relationship with everybody, the look of my most favourite guy every time I admit that I miss him. Sounds as if I am leaving this whole life that I have, so dramatic. But, I guess with such career that I’m about to dive into, it sure feels like I’m leaving all these behind. I spend almost every day going out and just do nothing or simply just long talks with few of my closest friends from university. Such deep, meaningful and playful conversations that I believe have grown fonder of us. The days that I spend with my favourite guy are just pure intimate. All these are making it so hard for me to start over a new life of more serious commitments and crucial life decisions. I can’t believe that I am actually going to admit this, but… I don’t think I’m ready to grow up and leave all that childish playful jokes, midnight lepaks and drive arounds, madness screams and laughter, and also the crazy party life. I don’t want to grow up. I like this age. I am not ready to move on.

One of the craziest thing I wouldn’t forget that I actually did it was, the fact that once I actually rolled the car window down at a red traffic, screaming “PENIS” on top of my lung so many times. I actually got my head out from the car and did it. I… well, am going to miss this so much.

Life as a student is going to end, for like, forever. And this is most probably the saddest phase of my life. Dear everyone who is reading this, cherish your student life while you still can. Take chances, have the courage to do something that you never thought you would, dive yourself into madness, party yourself out; because this is the time.

Have a great day, everybody. I’m out for a round or maybe five rounds of teh tarik with my favourite people, singing my heart out to The Naked and Famous’ Young Blood while winding the window down. Cheers, this is to the student life J

Loves, xx

Listening to: Young Blood by The Naked and Famous

#129: Shell Oil Job Interview

Good Morning!

So, hi. You are on this post, most probably because you passed the first stage of Shell’s Online Tests or Phone Interview. So, this is the time where I feel like I should give back to the community by sharing my experience on attending Shell’s second stage of one-on-one’s face interview. Scary, I know. But fret not, I am here to help you ease your worry after you try googling about it and still clueless and nervous down your spine on it! (I definitely know the feeling as I have encountered a major sarcastic “Thanks Google, listing Shell as the World’s Top 10 Hardest Interviews sure does help me in putting off my worry” before.)

I am currently on my semester break before my last semester of BSc. in Science (Applied Geology) at University of Malaya. I have completed my Final Year Project (or also known as thesis project); majoring in Petrophysics, Geophysics and also Sedimentology. Sounds super heavy and tough, pheeew to that, I actually succeed in going through the long hassle of it. I applied for a technical position in Shell’s Petrophysics and Reservoir Engineering way back in April 2013, via online. I will only be graduating in December 2013. If I am not mistaken, they open the application all year round (You can check the website). Then, I had my first stage of online tests in May 2013. The online tests are basically just some psychological behavioural tests and also a few technical tests (testing on your calculation and understanding ability, 16 questions in 16 minutes). Honestly, I really thought I did so bad for the tests because I don’t even understand half of the questions and the time given was ridiculously too short for such long, twisted questions. I did not heard of anything from Shell after I did the tests for almost 2 months except for a “Thanks for completing the tests…” email. At that point, I was 100% sure of how my chance of working with Shell is down the drain.

Surprisingly, after I finished my 6^th semester, in Early July 2013; I received an email from Shell, an invitation to their second stage interview session. Meaning; I passed the ridiculously tough online tests! I did not expect their interview would be any time near, but I was wrong. I received another email on 8^th July 2013; asking me to pick a date and time slot for my appointment with them for the one-on-one interview session within that week itself. Can you imagine how nervous I felt? Insane. I don’t even know what to prepare as this is my first job interview ever. So many things are going on that week as I have to submit my corrected thesis in for the university library publishing. I was busy and nervous at the same time, what a bad combination of feelings to have; especially during your last semester break ever! None of my batch mates have ever attended a job interview before, so I have no idea who to refer to about it. So, I turned to my thesis supervisor, seniors (Syawal and Muzzamil) and also my new AAPG advisor (Evon, who happened to be my senior that I have never had the chance to meet before). I got a bunch of very useful tips, trust me, they were. Oh yes, I also did my research on Shell and also few job interview skills.

On the day of the interview (12^th July 2013);

I went to the Shell’s Building in Changkat Semantan, Damansara Heights (the building is nearby HELP University in Damansara, you will see a signboard stating “Bangunan Shell Malaysia” after you passed by Jalan Dungun) in the afternoon and I arrived 20 minutes before the interview starts. (It says to arrive 15 minutes before the interview session, but it is always good to arrive way earlier than that. Ohh you know, just to make yourself calm down and be comfortable with the environment and vibe.) The early arrival lets you to deal with the receptionist for your pass in. I sat at the lobby, murmuring a few prayers to calm myself until my interviewer came out herself to call me in. The interview session is done at this area on the ground floor itself. It’s like an area specified for meetings and interviews. The person that interviewed me was one of Shell’s Human Resource (HR) Recruitment Team. My interview was pretty laid back and not as intense as what I have read in other blogs before though. Maybe it was just my luck, but who knows. So, basically the interview is based on your past experiences, achievements and also relationships – in other words, it is based on C.A.R (Capacity, Achievement and Relationship) which is a concept used in Shell. The interview session is divided into two;

First round of interview questions are based on C.A.R like:

·         What is your greatest challenge and how you overcome it?

·         Have you ever encountered a situation where you have to deal with people of different ranks and how is your relationship with them?

·         Can you adapt to a new environment, if so, what is an example and how you did it?

*There are a few more questions, but basically they are just behavioural interview questions, testing your skills and abilities in tackling challenges and problems.

Second round of interview questions are based on your personal preferences and Shell like:

·         Why do you want to work for Shell?

·         What role do you want and what are the skills that you have for the role?

*There are also a few more questions, such as your preferences in the technical skills area and such. Basically, just to know how you would fit in Shell.

There were many questions and they were quite long, so I suggest that you listen carefully to the points that they want from you. If you do not understand what they want, don’t be afraid to ask for the explanation from them. And another advice, if you need a little time to think, don’t be afraid to tell them that you need a minute to think of the answer. They will give you time. My interview session took about 50 minutes; almost an hour. It’s good if you manage to tell them about yourself and give them many points. They will also ask you if you have anything to ask them at the end of the interview session. My advice is that you should prepare a few. I had like 4-5 questions for them. When you ask them appropriate questions, it shows that you are interested to work for Shell and it also shows that you are one curious person and always eager to find out more about something; which is a good trait for the industry and the technical area. I managed to feel comfortable during the interview, and that helps a lot in expressing myself and my thoughts during the interview.

I hope this helps. There was not much tension going on during the interview, and the interviewer was not scary too. She was really friendly. So, calm down and start preparing points to talk on for your interview. I wish you all the best!

And in case you’re wondering, YES I PASSED THIS INTERVIEW ;)

Loves, xx

Listening to: Let’s Go by Matt and Kim

#128: Because I’ve seen it before.

What’s up with the super long hiatus, Tasya? So, if ever any of you (I doubt people still read this page, so…) ever wonder about it, the answer is that; so many things are going on with my life. The good, bad, ugly, pretty, confusing, mixed things. Sometimes when I feel so much hurt, it pierced into me so deep that no words could describe, so I really do not know how to put in all onto a page. Then, when I feel so happy, I forgot about everything and no words could describe the giddy and peachy feelings running through me. Does that explain why I have been disappearing from here? Well, of course, I am referring that besides my tight schedule with my final year project.

As of today, I must say that my life has been balanced. I got hurt, but I got healed. The broken ones are stitched back together. The long waits have come to the unexpected meet. God is great. The first six months of the year, he threw me hard to the curb, picked me up, then threw me into an even hotter fire, then picked me up again just to make sure I am stronger than before. I am. I am so much stronger and so much more thankful for what I am going through right now.

My exam weeks were the climax of my 6^th semester. I was tortured with so many challenges. But, my heart has grown to be so much stronger from it. I had days where I cry every time I wake up, then I feel like a useless piece of crap, then I feel so stupid for letting all these tiny things to hurt me, and then suddenly there are days when I wake up as though the sun smiles right to me and I could feel the euphoric air surrounds me. They all got me good. The pressure got me real good. The ups and downs balanced one another out like yin and yang.

The past two semesters were the hardest time of my life. Tested my relationships to the core. Tested my patience downright through me. These pains grew in me, through me. As though I am immuned to it. As though I came to learning to actually deal with it, and like it. Maybe I like the pain. Maybe I am peculiar like that. Because I honestly feel, without these pains, I don’t know, maybe I just would not feel real.

What’s the deal with that right? Why do I keep hitting myself to the wall? Why do I always find things that could hurt me and give me pain? Why? Because, once it stops, it feels so darn good. Feels real, and so good.

Right now, every single pain that I put myself to, has stop. This stop is temporary, but only God knows how good it feels. How good to take a break from all the pain and heart ache that has been hitting me.

I’m alright, everyone. So should you.

Loves, xx

Listening to: You Gotta Be by Des'ree

#124: That magic is making me blush!

Trump’s 21^st Surprise Birthday, The Bee Publika :)

I’ve developed this need to start blogging again because I know that my childhood and school friends read this. It’s apparently a way for them to keep up with the life around us, a way for them to catch up and see how I’m doing. But, there’s just too much to say, so I am just going to point out the stuffs that have happened until today.

• I am finally done with my internship as a Technical Support Engineer Trainee under Drilling Services with one of the best oil and gas service company; Baker Hughes Inc. And I gained so much experiences and also friends (of all ages). Such a golden exposure (I was given the opportunity to go to Labuan for a drilling training!). Was indeed the luckiest girl! I actually went back there a week after I’m done, for a quick lunch with the HR and Sara, and gave the department a short visit (because I have been missing them so much!). So grateful that we’re like a family in the department :)
• My 5^th semester just started :D Pretty rough in the beginning, but slowly coping up with all of the subjects, adjusting my (overly) love towards the oil and gas engineering industry back into geology. Repaired my relationships with people, friends around. So, I am currently doing good :)
• Started on my thesis or final year project (FYP) already! Decided to venture into the oil and gas field (of course), so took the opportunity to do a project based on well log analysis and petrophysics. It has always amazed me how a friend of mine in Baker Hughes interpret data petrophysically, and now I have the chance to! So, I am very excited to see where this is going to take me. Although, I had a down moment while doing my thesis proposal when there’s a few who totally psycho-ed me down, but hey I’m all good, yeap Tasya as always.
• Attended the Juniors’ Interaction Day with the 2^nd Years. I came as a 3^rd year senior buddy this time. How time flies, right? It still feels like it was just yesterday that I was in that hall, sitting as a 1^st year junior with my 3^rd year buddy; Kak Tety, and was amused by how she could achieved such high CGPA and be so successful in whatever she’s currently doing. And now, here I am, sitting and surrounded by my 1^st year juniors; Thevetia, Maziah, In, Ariff, Zariq and Afiq! And, that is exactly how they felt towards me now. I guess, all of my hard work is slowly paying off now, ahhh what a relieve, Alhamdulillah ;)
• Yes, that time of the year again! It’s the famous UM Law Mock Trial, yaaay! This year’s mock trial has a theme of “Gampang”, presenting few fresh and familiar faces. The most exciting part was when a friend of mine; Imran Osman is actually one of the casts! Overall, this year’s mock trial was good, not disappointing but a bit blunt compared to last year’s. Still prefer last year’s, but hey there’s always room for improvement right? I’m sure next year’s will be reaaaally good! Btw, good job, Team 2012! Can’t wait to attend next year’s. Shahrul Akmal, you’re gonna get me 10 tickets!!!
• Yeap, I also attended my first Majlis Anugerah Dekan :D Was so excited and felt so touched and grateful for it, especially when our Head of Department; Dr. Ng came and said that he is proud to have this much of students on the Dean’s List. He is forever such a sweetheart :’)
• We gave Trump a surprise birthday celebration (again) this year! I have to say that Trump is one very lucky guy as he always has this bunch of friends around him that will always appreciate him as a friend; always. Lucky boy! Thanks Siti and Ika for conducting such a cute celebration at The Bee, Publika :) Happy Birthday again, Zulhisyam Zaibuddin (you will forever be my favourite best friend ehehe). Later after that, I had my lepak session with my boys at Pelita Bangsar, oh God, how I’ve missed such late night sessions up til 5 in the morning. Haikal’s idea, as crazy as always!
• What else? Oh yes. I am shortlisted for the Conoco Phillips (an oil and gas company) Award/Reward/Scholarship! :D My dream is almost achieved, Syukur Alhamdulillah. I want (need) this so bad, I hope I’ll get to attend the Petroleum Geology workshop next week and get picked. This is such a huge deal for me, oh well, for me to have a much brighter future. So, please, insyaAllah, aamiiinnn :)
• I CUT MY HAIR SHORT BY THE WAY!  And met my former high school classmates for Jeyapriya’s 21^st Birthday Party in PJ. Ohh, Assuntarians get prettier as we aged ♥

I guess that’s all up until now? My life is pretty much like a puzzle in place right now. Yes, I am very content and happy with it. Have a great day ahead, readers!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen

#123: Open up the dirty window;

This is dedicated to my seniors :)

I decided to attend this year’s seniors’ convocation. Why? I don’t really have a specific reason to it, but one of the many is that they’re my seniors! My only seniors that I’m (quite) close to, I mean I do not have other seniors to celebrate on, so, they are the ones I am going to celebrate! This is also my first time walking around the FESKUM (Festival Konvokesyen UM) Stalls, and I was there supporting my Geology mates’ stall (particularly 9^th College buddies’). Generally, everything was not bad at all. Pretty amused by how they have chairs and tables, so we can hang around and eat there itself.

Anyways, back to the convocation, I do not know why, but I felt so proud of all of my seniors that graduated! The looks on their faces, their family members’ faces… are just priceless! I am so excited to be one of them one day…… soon very soon!

Dear seniors, thanks for all the passed down reports, notes, oh well fieldwork reports mostly. They helped a lot like reaaaaally a lot! And ahhh KAM Reports especially (that was one of a hell report). Thanks for the advices on educational stuffs and also non-educational stuffs. Thanks for being good seniors. I hope all of you will be such amazing people like you guys already are, forever. I hope all of you will achieve your dreams. Congrats seniors! Congrats to all (especially those who are working for Petronas, Schlumberger, Exxonmobil and etc.) and also to those who continues with Master’s Degree (crazy tough!). HATS OFF, SENIORS! CONGRATULATIONS!

I am one lucky girl; I still have my favourite senior around to guide me (at least for 2 more semesters). He’s a great guy although he’s mean to me all the time (his favourite word to me is “yuck”) because I can punch him with words when I’m not okay. Yes, Salihin you are my favourite senior because you’re annoyingly nice and I can be a kid when I’m with you. So, I am going to shower you with a bunch of fish since you love underwater so much, (lol kidding, I mean flowers) on your graduation day and argue with you about mermaids (lol no mermaids argument, just kidding, again).

I have few of the best seniors ever, so I’m going to be the few best ones for my juniors too! ;)

Loves, xx

Listening to: Tongue Tied by Grouplove

#122: Well, I wish that I was a Fixer.

Punch me right in the face now. Lately, I’ve been so emotional with things (I cried over stupid things like thesis proposal because someone just played a psychology game with my mind, I’m such a weak creature…) and being emotionally weak isn’t my nature. So, yes I need someone to punch me in the face, in the stomach and tell me “Tasya, you are not you right now, so put yourself together, now!” Maybe this is due to my mixed and confused feelings towards certain things, people. My semester started off pretty bad. (Yeap here goes another semester opener post, yawn all you want but I am still writing one) As bad as “I would do anything to go back having internship for the rest of my life and not see some people that will mess my head with their stupid drama”. I was at my laziest state ever, and none of the subjects that I’m taking this semester amuse me. NONE. And I’m already like “… How on Earth will I ever survive this semester doing something that I dislike and with such annoying bunch around? (not everyone though, just a few)” Such a bad start that there’s this one point I actually felt like I was out of place. I still remember how I do not want to get up the first morning of class and how I do not want to eat anything because I was just not in the mood. I still remember how I felt so awkward with people I’ve known for 2 years around me. Where does all that crazy strange feelings came from? Why isn’t it as exciting as it was when I was in the first and second year? I actually thought I was losing the college fun. Such a depressing semester indeed; I thought.

And then a few weeks after that, everything started to be fine. Just fine, just in place. And it kills me because I can’t stop looking for the answers to my “What have I done to deserve such good things around me and stop all those depressions that I’ve been getting a few weeks ago?” questions. It’s not like I’m not grateful to be granted with such happiness, but I just want to know why me, why am I showered with such happiness. So in order to balance out whatever I’m feeling and getting (and also to show how grateful I am towards all these really good things that I’ve been getting), I thought I should share my piece of success and happiness with people around. I started to develop these motherly idiosyncrasies and started to give back my happiness in a form of helping people around. I said yes to being a buddy to a group of first year juniors and that actually made me realize how comforting it is to have people younger than you calling you “Kak” and act all really cute and young with you. I just had this feeling of the need to help or give back what I’ve gotten from my seniors to those younger ones. IT FELT REALLY GOOD. Now that I know more juniors, and helped more of them, it actually gave me this motherly or sisterly or caring sense in me which I think I’ve been lacking of all this while. So thank you juniors. You girls/guys are like my younger sisters/brothers.

Also, I’ve been getting all these sadness of people breaking up around me. My friends themselves. I am such a bad relationship advisor so I couldn’t help much and that frustrates me because all that I could do was just shower them with “Are you okay?” “Are you sad?” “Come on! Live life, and go with the flow, you’ll find someone along it someday. For now, stop being sad and have fun!” yes I did that being aware of how hard is it to be done. Whatever happened to them actually made me prepare for more heartbroken moments that I will go through in the future. So thanks to that too.

I am now more aware of things. Like, I know happiness doesn’t usually last. So, whatever that makes me happy right now, I am going to hold onto it until it breaks me. I am going to exaggerate my happiness because I can. I am going to be overly excited about my happiness although you will find me annoyingly repeating it all the time. Because, this happiness, it doesn’t come all the time. I know that one day, somebody else will take away this happiness from me and I will be heartbroken then. And I will annoyingly say that I’m sad all the time, and then I will be stronger, and then another happiness will come and then the cycle repeats, and I will be perfectly fine having a life with that kind of cycle. I am now accepting life in a better way.

By the way, I’m developing more love for my coursemates (because hey let’s be honest, we are all getting closer by day), so I really cannot imagine how things would end in 3 semesters time. Can we all just stop all the inside issues that we have with one another and just cherish these last 3 semesters that we have together? I know I am not all that good, nice or whatever, but those were the immature days. I apologize for my bluntness. I teared up during the recent seniors’ farewell listening to each of their speech, so I would want my tears in the future (during our farewell dinner) be tears of joy instead of regrets of not spending enough time with all of us.

For now, I am just going with the flow, see where this takes me. So, let’s stop being sad and live life as it is!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Take a Walk by Passion Pitt

#120: Internship!

 I have been trying to find some time to squeeze this post in, and hey here I am! I will not write much, since I have piles of Reading Materials to be done and also a research and thesis to be read on for my Internship Project. But just in case you’re wondering what am I up to during the semester break, I am currently doing my internship with one of the best oil and gas service providers; Baker Hughes Inc. :) My heartfelt gratitude goes to Allah SWT, the most gracious almighty for giving me such blessed opportunity to experience 10 weeks of industrial training with such high established company in the oil and gas industry. Syukur Alhamdulillah :’)

I am assigned as the Technical Support Engineer Trainee in the Drilling Services Department, and based in Kuala Lumpur. Yeap, a Geology student that ended up in Engineering (I’ve got to be one really lucky girl!). Generally, what my department does is; we provide drilling operation for the oilfield industry and also, gather and evaluate downhole data of the oil well drilled. I am now currently doing this module on Wellbore Positioning, where they teach how to drill a well, how to calculate the well path and so on. More to discover! And I am very excited!

So far, my 3 weeks here have been just perfectly amazing. The engineers, manager, colleagues in my department are the coolest and they’re so friendly (AND NO ONE CAN EVER BE BETTER THAN THEM, THEY’RE THE BEST!) :D Can you imagine, my first week here, I have already been given a chance to attend an internal presentation for the clients in KL Convention Centre and mingle around with Engineers, Geologists and also Interns from Murphy Oil and Petronas. How lucky is that?! :D And this week, I get to follow our Technical Sales Manager to meet our client while having a karaoke session, YEAH KARAOKE. So cool please? :P And I have the best internship partners in the department; Sara Chong and Ritchie Lim, also Amrith Kaur from the Geoscience Department and also Aida Tahir from Drill Bits Systems. Amazing, wonderful people. Nicest supervisor, mentors and boss. I am crazy lucky. I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE REST OF MY 7 WEEKS HERE! :’D 

Okay enough with the excitement. Got to finish up my piled up assignments and projects!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Sake by Jupiter

#118: This is the gift and it comes with a price.

Hi dear readers and followers,

I know my hiatus status has been extended for a bit too long. So much stuff has been happening and I barely catch a breath to sum up everything and put them in my blog. It’s true, as we get older, the busier we would actually get. I used to have this mind set where everything will be like “free as a bird” thing after high school. Unfortunately, that thought is just... a failure. It became harder to meet anyone or even have a pinch of time to do something after high school ended. Life just could not get any less busy.

I have always have this habit of wrapping up every semester and read back on how much has it changed for just a semester. And to my surprise, each semester tells its very own story, with such unexpected drama. It’s like each semester of mine is like a Gossip Girl season, okay bad metaphor but it is sort of. Anyways, going to do a quick sum up of my 4^th semester in Applied Geology and truth to be told, this semester has got to be my favourite. The words of “After a hurricane, comes a rainbow” become true in this semester, or it could be the semester’s tagline, hehehe.

Semester 4 started pretty bad. Remember what happened during the fieldwork before? Broken relationships and then massive heart breaks. Then it slowly turned the other way around. Broken hearts are mended, and things just gradually got better. Got over my fear of heights by successfully completed the rock climbing session! Such an achievement. Then my grips started to lose when I faced a few misunderstandings within my close friends and to make it short, things were never the same anymore. The same week when I realized that my friendships are on rocks with few, that is when another drama of annoyance in the course happened. Such a heartbreaking week (well, the most heartbreaking week in my 20 years of living – like imagine losing your own close friends and at such hard times, you literally do not have anyone to talk to who can actually understand your stupid geology stress. So horrible!) until a senior of mine asked me out. He has been such a life saviour. Listening to my dumb rants, bimbotic thoughts and stupid paranoia over stuffs and projects and truly understand how crappy and stressful geology could be sometimes. Thank you, Salihin J You’re the best senior ever. Anyways, so my life ever since then have been pretty much on cloud nine and on top of the game although exam weeks were so rough. I swear I could say that my blood might have been thickened by Redbull liquid. So dangerous, but that’s what have been keeping me up and giving energy. And the results? Well, you’re looking at a Dean’s List achiever :D Syukur Alhamdulillah for the rezeki and nikmat, Ya Allah :’) I believe this is all a results of how rough I’ve been through.

Pretty much that’s it for Semester 4? Yes. Bad start to a great ending. I hope my industrial training would be a great one too, insyaAllah J Till then, have a great day, dear readers!

Loves, xx

Listening to: It’s Nice To Be Alive by Ball Park Music

#116: You can’t tell what magic spells ;)

Happy Friday, everyone! Cheers to the freaaaken weekend :P

I can finally breathe after weeks of torture, full of assignments datelines and also tests! Semester 4 of Degree has been so hard and harsh on me, but in the same time, I guess that’s what has been building me up. I’ve learnt who I could trust, who really cares about me, and well, I also came to realization of the chances that I’ve been missing all this while. 2 years, and I finally see all of the true colours, and it was such an eye opener. Cannot describe how much relieved I felt to not be caught in something that was never meant for me.

I am currently over my sadness crappy phase, and very content with all of these little joys that I’ve been getting. Those little things, bits and pieces of love from those who really love me for who I am, for sticking with me through 15 years, 3 years and such. Although some may be so far away, in a total different continent now, but the love we have for each other seems to be greater than ever.

Cannot wait to graduate, 3 semesters to go! Leaving craps behind and moving on into another phase. I can’t wait! I know, I will miss those moments in classes, but some are just meant to be forgotten. And some people are just meant to be left. Some memories are just not meant to be remembered. And surprisingly, I like it like that. I am so very happy with all those little things, very few people around me. It’s true when they said on how useless it is to have many friends around, but not true friends. Anyhow, I am not here to look for friends, nor lovers, so hey hey hey UM first class degree graduation, here I come! Aamiin aamiin yarabbaal aalaamiiinnn :)

I am climbing that, and none of you could ever stop me from it. You have no idea of what I am capable of. No, none of you do.

Loves, xx

Listening to    : Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai 

#113: This is too good.

♥

God! It has been ages since I last update my blog. Seems like I’m losing the ability of transferring my anger, disappointment, happiness, excitement into this piece of thing called blog. I’m actually pretty glad that I can still remember what is it called as.. looking at my possibility of being diagnosed of Alzheimer stage 1 (okay that’s a joke) but really. I kept losing all of my stuffs; pendrive, memory card, clips, keys, BlackBerry!!, clothes, I mean seriously you name it! So, here I am decided to put this on my blog before I lose the memory of it (I really sounded like a grandmother now ehehh).

Last Saturday, a few of my Geology and Medic friends came out with the idea to have a Paintball Game (I actually totally forgot about it until a day before it -.- Yes, you may slap me now). So, we had 4 cars, convoyed all the way to Gombak, to Dusun Ali King Paintball. Me, Haikal, Hisye, Ain, Ikin, Luqman Keme, Nazmi, Ninie, Fiza, Adi, Afiq, Haziq, Am, Rani, Ogy, Hafiz and Ganyu! It was a sweet combination of UM Geology, Medic, Engineering, Media and also Philippines Arts Language students. My car mates are the best ohmygod I swear to god (HI I LOVE YOU GUYS!). I’m gonna be honest as I write this, I am actually enjoying making new friends and connections around UM, really (like how I made friends with other Handball and Netball girls). It feels so good to just mingle around and for once not care about what others would actually say about me.

So, we were divided into 2 Paintball Teams; Pendekar Mustar & Pendekar Laut (Laut, yeah I know right? Hahahaha!). My team was called Pendekar Mustar (blame Haikal for this please heh hehh) and my captain was yaaaa so predictable kan Haikal lah of course. The team mates (best ever please) are Ikin, Ninie, (Princess Top Model)Nazmi, Haziq, Adi and Afiq ♥ We had 4 games, each one has it’s own sore level I must say. I hate the one in the jungle the most, the place where I sprained my ankle (such a bad timing and place). The games were just so good I swear, despite of the bruises and injuries, I had so much fun that I can still jump around with my sprained ankle! :p

As usual, these people wouldn’t want to go back until we reached the next day (after 12am). So, we drove all the way from KL to Putrajaya for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. My car went back to UM to have bath and on our way to and fro was an epic madness (in a really good way)! I have never seen Hisye unleash his wild crazy side until that moment in the car. We got stuck in the traffic jam in Putrajaya for more than an hour with the car’s petrol being really low so turning on the air conditioner wasn’t an option that I actually wanted to cry so badly because I have a really low tolerance towards hot condition. Then the boys (Nazmi, Luqman & Hisye) started singing their hearts out, shaking the car into a really crazily hectic one. We arrived at the festival around 6+, so the weather was really nice and breezy, and we could see the hot air balloons being released one by one, it was so beautiful! :D Then we headed to Taman Warisan for our dinner after Nazmi made his Berita Sensasi video hahaha.

We continued the madness all the way back to KL. We went to Wangsa Walk for our midnight karaoke and bowling session! Seriously insane, but super fun. Rani’s car made me, Haikal, Hisye and Nazmi wait outside Wangsa Walk for more than an hour without any reason. But, it made me realized how much I love sitting around and just talk and joke over craps around. So many inside jokes, insane because I have never laughed that much (besides being with Pakka & Dayat of course). The karaoke session was (I do not know how many times I’m gonna say this madness, insane, crazy and other similar words) just so hilarious and maniac. Haikal, Hisye and Luqman is a crazy trio, they basically just scream at the mic instead of singing and Nazmi was such a singing diva, he was so good! :p We went back around 2+ in the morning, and my car mates got crazier that I and Haikal’s head formed a major headache -.- They then had a drink and I decided to go back early because my sprained ankle was really killing meh!

I’VE NEVER HAD IT THIS GOOD, GUYS. I mean seriously, thank you so much! We may only know each other for just awhile but it was so much fun! If I could kiss on the cheek of each of yours, I really would.

Loves, xx

Listening to: We Are Young by Fun

#111: To be happy about.

I really need this.

Semester 3 ended really bad except for the fact that my results were again; the only thing that never fail to amaze me. Friendship on the rocks, few broken, gained some new ones, trust broken, anger took most of myself, and majorly filled with disappointments; just pure unforgivable disappointments.

I was all so demotivated to start my 4^th semester. Maybe it’s because of how tragic the 3^rd semester ended. Too disappointed to even care about starting a new one. But I finally picked up the pieces, put aside my anger and disappointments because honestly, I don’t find any of these will help me lead to a better life.

Anyways, I actually happened to clean my old files and I found a paper that my gang used to scribble during the Science & Technology Lecture in the 1^st semester. I still remember how close all 8 of us were. We used to sit at the most back row in lecture, camwhored and ate junk food all the way in class; also scribbled papers around. I miss how we used to go everywhere with each other, have weekly dinner and pick adorable fights among one another over dinner and also facebook comments! Ahh, how we used to go out and have a movie night and lepak til late night. We were like this perfect bunch just like that pictured in How I Met Your Mother and That ‘70s Show. Then stuffs started to happen, driftings, detachments. We’re still close, but I’m not gonna lie that we aren’t as close as we used to be. Honestly, it is sad and it hurts to see how we are all detaching.

Not going to point my finger to anyone. I do not know who is at fault. Choices like these are always in the hands of that person. I just want to remind that, as mean as I may look, I always put my friends as my priority because I hate backstabbing. And boys & girls, the 7 of you will be the friends that I swear in the name of God, that I would never back stab. I’ll do and sacrifice whatever to save any of your asses from trouble and swear, will get you out of trouble.

Just something that I guess I should say it out. Have a pleasant semester! (while I hope mine will build back its own way oh well, this is me sighing)

Loves, xx

Listening to: Fences by Phoenix

#110: UM Geophysics Fieldwork; Melaka :)

Yeap, this is the fieldwork ;)

Two fieldworks in a row? Yeap, that is how I spent my semester break this time. Being bathed under the blazing sun in my own sweat.

This time around, after the Structural Geology Fieldwork, we; the Applied Geology Students had our Geophysics Fieldwork in the Pengkalan Balak, Melaka up to the North of Melaka area :) Gotta say that this time, the fieldwork puts us so deep inside God-knows-where, so far from the town, but by the beach of Straits of Melaka. This fieldwork is a more laid back one, hence less tiring than the one before. Our task was pretty simple, involving electrical method surveys and granted such great groupmates :) Two tasks before we hit our chalet in the evening for the Beach Rugby and just dipping in the sea! :D Dinner was always so much fun since we will be going around for seafood hunting together with the boys and girls.

By the way, we managed to see a live National Army Battlefield Practice as we got stuck doing our fieldwork in the middle of the battlefield. We were all freaking out, I mean who wouldn't right with the shooting and such and we were like fools in the middle. God, was so hilarious! Such an amazing experience :D

Anyhowever, the drama got so tensed by days passed. I do not know whether to be disappointed on how it got viral or otherwise. So heart wrenching at times, but oh well, I guess that's how this is going to mark the coming semester? I am so tired of the never-ending drama, I just literally threw a fist and was as pissed as hell when I got back. I do not know how to start my semester, oh dear.

The best part of the fieldwork was basically just the evenings by the beach. Felt like we lived in California, by the beach, watching the boys play Beach Rugby and we were all running around and getting dipped in the sea. So much fun :)

Loves, xx

Listening to: The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala by Arctic Monkeys

#109: UM Structural Geology Fieldwork Mentakab-Mersing :)

This is us by the beach; taking a break from the beach mapping (Y)

Another Geological Fieldwork! :D

Being all sunburnt as I type this is the worst feeling ever. Both Pure & Applied Geology 2^nd Year Degree Students of University of Malaya had our Structural Geology Fieldwork in Mentakab, Pahang and Mersing, Johor under Dr. Mus & and also our Japanese Lecturer; Dr. Massa for a week started from 26^th January 2012!

One word to describe it is definitely TIRING. I definitely did not get my Fieldwork Mojo at all (be it before, during or after!) I just can’t find that excitement anywhere in any ways -.- But, I had a good time with my course mates despite the inevitable drama and blazing sun. Some bonds got tighter, some got oh well.. just not good. Heartbroken moments conquered most of the time there. Disappointments mostly. But, who am I to whine about it eh?

Moving on, the 1^st day of Fieldwork, we stopped by the outcrops and sites in Pahang Darul Makmur. It was super tiring because our lecturer brought us to more than 4 sites in an evening, can you imagine the structures that we had to digest? + the historic tectonic events to be understood was haihh so ma fan! All I see was the same, look-a-like structures! I just cannot differentiate them :( It was so saddening. Adding to it, we only checked into our hotel at 8 in the night. But, thanks to Ieka’s friend’ Bad! He made our day when he picked us up in Mentakab and drove us to Temerloh to have Tom Yam for our dinner :D

The 2^nd day was pretty slow as we went to visit a few sites and then we continued the journey all the way to the South; to Mersing in Johor Darul Ta’zim! It took 5 freaking hours to reach there. I swear, I almost died of boredom (despite the boys singing along to some off-tune songs and those inside jokes between us the front seaters) as all I can see was just green trees and more of green trees T.T The roads to Mersing were horrible, it was so deep inside, that it took 5 hours out to the main North-South Highway!

Mersing was just so hot! The beach was so so. We were divided into a few groups to identify and complete a Structural Geology Map of Pantai Mersing! You know how horrible the feeling was? It was just too much :/

Food was okay. All thanks to Ieka’s friends (AGAIN) for treating us dinner on our first night in Mersing! Seafood by the beach ;) The next few nights were bonding session between the course mates during the dinner. Gotta say that I love the Girls Gossiping Session in the night in our room. And also my session with my boys, telling them about my feelings. So good to know that I have such great friends around! Loves!

The (forever inevitable) drama during the fieldwork got worse. I honestly did not want to pick sides, but, it was just so hard! I hate looking like a bitch, but in the end I lost everything. So, that was a big hit to me. I am really sad of the decisions made. I have never thought that it would end this way. But oh well, fate has decided isn’t it?

Loves, xx

Listening to: Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3