#138: The holy word that I've been waiting for

Literally me this month.

Despite of what I blogged yesterday, I came to a conclusion that 2016 has actually been a way better year than 2015. (I know it is only August but 8 months of good stuffs in a year? That’s like way too good for me already!) That puts 2015 as the worst year I have encountered in my whole life.

Who knew moving to a new country would grant you with such amazing new friends? Friends that are real keepers. A lot of changes happened this year and all of the changes have made me stepped out of my comfort zone. I met some really amazing people despite of whatever “bad” things that have been happening. I learned a lot through my traveling, picked up a lot of new great friends.

I did not lose any friends. No one has backstabbed me. I came to know how some friends find me important in their life - which is something I deeply appreciate. Some new people that I met taught me how to appreciate this beautiful life, taught me that success is more than just having a career, taught me that there is absolutely so much more to life. I mean there are a few hiccups - but when those happened, it just reminds me how I’ve made such a brilliant decision to cut some people out of my life. No more toxic for me. Also, I did not cried as much when I was in 2015. In 2016, I am just very confused and scared but not heartbroken - so that is already so much better than the years before. It has been an exciting year so far.

I am not usually a fan of ‘new’ and ‘changes’ - but sometimes we got to admit, those are what we really need in life to push us forward. I know career wise is not going so good for me - I used to think that my career defines my happiness, but now I realized that the great people around me are the ones defining my happiness. I’ve got such amazing family and friends who truly believe and support me, so what else do I need? What gives you a better feeling than to see people around you truly happy having you by their sides?

Dear readers, changes are good. Stepping out of your comfort zone to overcome certain fear is good. So you know what? I am going to try to step out of my fear towards romantic relationships. I can overcome that fear. I definitely will. I will try to believe that having feelings is okay. So should all of you who are reading this - step out and overcome whatever fears you have. This is the year.

(Maybe it’s a good year to change industry too?)

Loves, xx

Listening to: In My Blood by The Veronicas

#131: Young Blood

Truth to be told, I am quite pessimistic for an optimist. I always have this positive mind set, but always expect the worst. I’m still trying to figure myself out, on why I often react in such a way. I came to a conclusion that, maybe, these fears of losing someone, something have put me in such shoes.

Being me, I actually expected my last semester as an Undergraduate Student would suck so much as my life always gets worse when it comes to the end of the year. But surprisingly, it’s the other way round. I am spending every day of this last semester, cherishing the little things that I have never imagine myself cherish. The smiles on each of my course mates, the crazy courage to make the first move on a guy, the laughter that crack my jaw every time I spend my time with my gang, the progress of my relationship with everybody, the look of my most favourite guy every time I admit that I miss him. Sounds as if I am leaving this whole life that I have, so dramatic. But, I guess with such career that I’m about to dive into, it sure feels like I’m leaving all these behind. I spend almost every day going out and just do nothing or simply just long talks with few of my closest friends from university. Such deep, meaningful and playful conversations that I believe have grown fonder of us. The days that I spend with my favourite guy are just pure intimate. All these are making it so hard for me to start over a new life of more serious commitments and crucial life decisions. I can’t believe that I am actually going to admit this, but… I don’t think I’m ready to grow up and leave all that childish playful jokes, midnight lepaks and drive arounds, madness screams and laughter, and also the crazy party life. I don’t want to grow up. I like this age. I am not ready to move on.

One of the craziest thing I wouldn’t forget that I actually did it was, the fact that once I actually rolled the car window down at a red traffic, screaming “PENIS” on top of my lung so many times. I actually got my head out from the car and did it. I… well, am going to miss this so much.

Life as a student is going to end, for like, forever. And this is most probably the saddest phase of my life. Dear everyone who is reading this, cherish your student life while you still can. Take chances, have the courage to do something that you never thought you would, dive yourself into madness, party yourself out; because this is the time.

Have a great day, everybody. I’m out for a round or maybe five rounds of teh tarik with my favourite people, singing my heart out to The Naked and Famous’ Young Blood while winding the window down. Cheers, this is to the student life J

Loves, xx

Listening to: Young Blood by The Naked and Famous

#130: Phuket-Krabi Thailand Trip

This by far, is the most random and spontaneous trip I have ever made. Which of course, turned out to be the Best Short Vacation Trip ever. No denial to the saying “The best trip is always the most unplanned and spontaneous trip.”

The idea to have an island hopping trip came across our minds a week before the real trip. It’s usually something that we just randomly talk about and fantasize over our shisha lepak session. The next Monday, Luqman created a WhatsApp Group called (weirdly named) as Miskob Crew (read: long history on how we got that name, but a hilarious inside joke I must say), and there were 13 of us in it, talking about the crazy idea and everybody just confirmed on joining it and also, yes it was decided to be on that Thursday itself.

It was such a crazy week for me as I had my last stage interview for Shell on that Wednesday and Thursday! And our bus to Changlun Kedah was that Thursday night itself. Finished my interview on Thursday at around 5pm, got caught in massive traffic jam on my way back home, had only a few hours to pack my luggage and have dinner. Then, Kemey drove us to the bus station, everything was in such a hurry, we ran to catch the bus, and yeah we made it to Changlun! (Thanks for the ride btw Kemey!) Arrived in Changlun at 6 in the morning, and took taxi to the Malaysia-Thailand Border. Passed the immigration and checked in! Yes baby, we were already in Danok Thailand that 1^st of November. Such a great way to start our November!

We had a van with a driver and also a tour guide (who could speak Thai and Malay!) and started our 10 hours of journey up to the North, straight to Phuket. Such a long journey, but also crazy. We sang, we raved, we had videos and (a lot of) selfies in it. We reached Phuket just in time to watch the beautiful sunset! Oh, it was amazing. God is so Great, so so so magnificent. We then had dinner in the town – yeszaaa Tom Yum Kung! And finally checked in into our chalet. Amazing thing is that our chalet has a garden concept, which is super cute. We even had a swimming pool by our rooms. Amazing? Wait, read on.

Phuket:

We randomly made a decision to rent scooters, so that we could pair up male-female, and ride around Phuket that night! Super tacky and cute. We went out at around 10pm and had super fun ride around Phuket that night before we arrive at Bangla Road. The cool breeze around Phuket at night is just so breathtaking – exactly what I needed after such busy and rough weeks. We arrived at Bangla Road – where the real fun starts!!! Whole stretch of clubs, bars, pubs, oh you name it! Strippers, dancing poles, booze every-freaking-where! OH HELLO BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE YES HELLO HELLO HELLO!!!! We walked around, swirled in the middle of the road and danced. We went into strip clubs (where I had a stripper on me too as well, it is craaaay cray because I love it muahaha), then to pubs with our own pole dancer on our table, then into clubs that has ping pong show, then to clubs for a taste of clubbing in Thailand. At around 3am, we came out to have the best pancakes in town, uh huh! Thailand’s renowned Banana and Nutella Pancakes by the street. OH GOD, TASTIEST THING EVER TO HAVE AT 3 IN THE MORNING PLEASE! We sat by the street, enjoyed it and head back to our chalet. And yeah guess what’s the next crazy thing we did? Jumped into the swimming pool for a skinny dip UH HUH YES BABY YESSSS. Skinny dipping and smoking til 5 in the morning. So cold but was worth every second of it!

The next morning (yeah forced ourselves to wake up early despite of the lack of sleep), we head out to Patong Beach. Yes, that famous beach where you see ang mohs walking around nakedly. That. Then we continued our journey to Krabi! 

Krabi:

Arrived in Krabi in the evening of 2^nd November. Checked in into our chalet – another garden concept chalet! But this time, with real forest surrounding us. We had a few hours of rest, then headed out early to the Krabi Town to catch a local festival that was held there that night. Walked around the festival, had tonnes of fun time. Found a hipster local coffee and art shop, unleashed our hipster sides. Then continued walking around the Ao Nang Town for some shopping spree – bikinis, shorts, blouses, and such. Done with the spree around midnight and we headed to the club in that area. Since it was our last night in Thailand, we went all out clubbing that night. Made every one of us danced on the dancefloor. Little devils I tell you!

The next morning, we woke up early for yes island hopping around Krabi! Finally sea water and sun and marine life! We had a boat to ourselves, went island hopping. First stop was at the Cock Island, which well, as described by its name… there were a lot of cocks. Replicas of cocks everywhere on the island. Saw a couple doing rock climbing which is so cool and I am definitely coming back for that! Then we did our snorkelling trip. Clear water with a lot of beautiful fish – what more could I ask for? We also managed to held a water volleyball game in the middle of the sea, yeah man. After our session of sun tanning and snorkelling, we head back to the beach. And yet, another memorable scene – we had to bath in public; openly. Had to take our bath in our swim wears, which is weird because it was so open in public. 

We then head back to Danok. Arrived at the Thailand-Malaysia Border in the night. Checked in into Changlun Malaysia that night and managed to catch the last bus back to KL. And there we thought our crazy trip ended. Nope. We had to stop at somewhere in Kedah because it turns out that, there was a crazy (like literally a mentally ill) woman in our bus. We had to wait for the police to arrest her. Yeap, that crazy. We then finally arrived safely in KL, the next morning.

CRAZY? THAT IS WHAT MADE THE WHOLE TRIP AS THE BEST SHORT TRIP EVER.

So much has to be cut out from this post as “Whatever happens in Phuket-Krabi, stays in Phuket-Krabi”.  Hangover 2 is a similar description of what we had. Thank you so much for such memorable experience that made me feel that I am finally in my legal age. Thank yooooouuuu Riri, Luqman, Airil, Faliq, Leng, Afiq, Jepun, Zaim, Naddy, Shela, Tika and Mai! <3 crew="" for="" lifezzzz="" miskob="" o:p="">

Loves, xx

Listening to: Weekend by Smith Westerns

#127: Melaka Roadtrip!

Melaka ‘Venice’ River, our hotel scenery!

When you have the money, the time and the best friends… what do you do? OF COURSE A ROAD TRIP! :D

I have always picture my ideal getaway from university life stress as a short road trip to somewhere near, rare, local and random with my loved ones, trying out new stuffs, new taste that tingles our taste buds, camwhoring around with such beautiful architectures, walking around enjoying sceneries (and also the blazing hot sun) that are way different than those in KL. And yes, that is exactly what I had 2 days back with Suzanna (Gong), Marlysa and Annishka. Although not all of my besties are around to join, but it was amazing, as always.

We only spent one night and one day in Melaka but we did everything that we wanted in our checklist! We arrived in Melaka around 5pm on Friday, picked up Annishka at Melaka Manipal Medical College and we looked around for a hotel in Jonker Street (yeap crazy I know! We did not even book a room in advance and took the risk to look around for one on that day itself). Managed to get a room at this place called Voyage Cottage Lodge in Jonker Street itself. It’s a budget hotel with such cute vintage cottage theme :) And the best part of our room is… it is facing the Melaka “Venice” River and vintage buildings of Melaka! Ohh such beautiful scenery, with such pretty vintage “Istanbul-like architecture” windows, aaahhh perfect! Can you imagine waking up to such?!! Breathtaking :)

So, following the suggestions of our Melaka friends, we went out hunting the famous Melaka Asam pedas for dinner (wanted to go for Ikan Bakar Umbai, but I had that before, so yeah). As ever, the best directions reader here *ekhem, me yeah hahaha*, we finally get the chance to taste the Asam Pedas at Mona Asam Pedas in Kota Laksamana! Met Abang Redzuan and also my matrics bestie; Ajaq there! Then, we went for a walk at Jonker Street, and yes the night market there was super awesome! Managed to get my favourite Melaka Egg-shaped Sherbet Ice-Cream and also the famous Jonker Cocktail in glass bottle. Did few shopping and oh my goodness, I love that street of The Geographer. Open Pubs everywhere, with 90’s songs blast, foreigners drinking on tall wooden designed chairs and tables, such laid back atmosphere. Exactly what I was yearning for all this semester!

Asam Pedas Mona, Kota Laksamana

Favoruite Sherbet at Jonker Street Night Market!

The streets of pubs; behind us is the famous The Geographer!

Casa del Rio's Toilet - World Class Toilet with free hand soap, moisturizer and also mouth wash + hand towel!

The next morning, we decided to walk around Jonker Street again and Bandar Hilir. This is actually my second time in Jonker Street (first was last year with my coursemates), and that place still fascinates me! :) Started our day with having local nasi lemak with dry sambal at this place called Calanthe Art Café. The deco is inspired by vintage Hawaiian cafes. The food sangat sangat sedaaaap, so does the coffee! I brought back a few coffee bags hihii. Such vintage atmosphere soaked into me and I’m all hyped up to walk around for more than 3 rounds :D We did more shopping and also of course a lot of taking pictures, and trying all of the local peculiar dishes and desserts. We also enjoyed going into museums and digging the local histories. We also managed to watch this puppet theatre of Laksamana Cheng Ho! Aaaahhh the histories are beautiful. Definitely my ideal getaway. We then head out and drove all the way to Perigi Hang Li Po for the Asam Pedas paling sedap in Melaka at Lot 85! Yesss, taste exactly like nenek’s :D Then, we went to Pasar Besar Melaka and also Mahkota Parade to taste the one and only Nadeje’s famous French Crepe. Sedaaaap sangat the crepes, you all should try! Lastly, before we head back to KL, we drove all the way to Klebang Beach just to get the famous Coconut Shake yang digilai ramai tu ;) Managed to enjoy the sunset and coconut shake :D

Nasi Lemak with Dry Sambal at the Calanthe Art Cafe in Jonker Street

Cheng Ho Puppet Theatre

Tea Break at Nadeje - famous tasty French Crepes!

Klebang Beach for sunset!

Can you tell? I am such a happy girl. Days well spent with my best friends for life. I cannot ask for a better trip! Now I’m back at home, trying to adjust myself to my new routine of morning jog and swim every day, yeap every single day of this mid semester break. Prepping myself up for this Charity Recycle Run that I signed up for in university. YEAAAHH that old, charitable 15 year old Tasya is back, everyone.

Til then, have a great day ahead, readers :)

Loves, xx

Listening to: Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People

#125: Come morning light;

 This is dedicated to everyone that has been bullied, cyberbullied, backstabbed, bad mouthed and etcetera :) Chin up; you deserve all the smiles in the world.

My Twitter timeline is 40% dominated by high school students. Mostly are my juniors, friends, younger sister’s friends. Yes, I am friends with juniors because I don’t believe in all this ‘high school’ hierarchy thing of where you’re a senior, so it’s not cool to mingle with juniors. Absolutely utter bullshit. Anyone can be friends despite of the ages. (One will soon learn this once step into working life, where you’ll face a lot of people of different ages and learn how age is just a number). It actually amazed me how some kids could be so mature in thinking while some 20’s on my timeline could be so immature over petty things. It’s a shame I must admit. I am already 21, yet some of those of my age still enjoy ‘high school’ drama among themselves – backstabbing, bad mouthing, judging, spreading rumours, etc. Some of the high school kids could solve their problems maturely. For example, when they fight over something, they then confront one another. Here I am, tried to make those simple mature acts, but got bashed so badly. It’s true, we can never please the society. You can be 50, and still act immaturely, and no one can ever say you’re immature because of your age. Yes, congratulations all, for having such society these days. My point is, despite of how old you are, you will face all these kind of immature things along the way. The only thing that can draw you out from the line of having a mentality like theirs is to well, stick to believing in being you, having a mature mind. They don’t like you and talk behind your back while you do nothing at all to them? Forget them, chin up, move forward. They don’t harm you, not in any way of this life that they can harm you. Look at those that still stand by your side, why are they still on your side? Why do they still love you? Hold onto those reasons and live a better life than those immature bunch that try to see you lose. Keep your anger and turn those anger into something positive, like maybe to push you to study harder? Yes? Yes, do that. It is possible to do. I’ve done it before. It works. But you have to have a strong heart and mind, and stand still on your life’s principle. Leave behind those that eat you up. If they can do such bad things to you, they are no good for you, at all.

I know getting backstabbed, bad mouthed or such (especially on social networks) sucks. It’s a pain. Especially for girls. I have been through it, in fact, going through one right now. But, think again, is it worth it for trying to fix something that those loser bunch do not want to fix? You’re wasting your time fixing. Instead, if they do not want you to be a part of their life, then leave. They actually just want you to be a part of their life, just for their entertainment, something to laugh at, and something to gossip on. They are just wasting their time. See? They just want to see you fall. Don’t ever let them see you fall. You are given such test by God, so that you will pick up your life and do better. So, do it, be better!

I have to admit, that I was once a part of the “Mean Girls” clique back in my school days. I definitely know how all of these mean acts work. Their bitchy reasons and answers to every mean acts of theirs. I know. I know this game so damn well. I was once a bitchy cheerleader and a queen bee. And I believe that whatever happened to me nowadays is what they call as ‘karma’. I remember crying in my boy’s car earlier this year, admitting how I felt bad on everything that I have done to other people before. Talking bad, backstabbing and stuffs like that. Back then, it felt good making people miserable, as though it’s a satisfaction. It’s like bringing people down makes me feel better about myself. I WAS WRONG. I cried out all of the guilt that I have been keeping for so long. How could I be so blunt and stupid and also so selfish to do so? I now know the feeling of my ‘bully victims’. I’m sorry to everyone that I have done wrong to. I was so immature back then, and I now realize how much pain it causes. I have fully changed, and moved on from that phase, and I thank God for making me go through that phase in my younger days rather than later.

Anyways, I’m sure I’ll get another handful of bashes from those people who are going against me after this post. My main intention for this post is to push those (I know a few, and some are my really close friends) who have been cyberbullied, backstabbed, abandoned, and such to stand up on their own feet and soar to be better. Also, to remind me of how strong I am. I have no intention in getting anyone a bad name, at all. 

Sorry to tell all of you who will be graduating from high school soon that… your high school drama doesn’t end in high school, there will still be people enjoying in creating them after high school. What a pity.

To those who have been going through backstabbing, cyberbullying in the form of people saying you’re annoying, show-offs and such, I pray all the strength in the world to be on our side as we can’t always please the society. Always. InsyaAllah, doa orang yang teraniaya akan selalu dimakbulkan, Allah SWT will always be on our side, Aamiin aamiin yaraabbal alaamiiinnn :)

Loves, xx

Listening to: Don’t Kick The Chair by Dia Frampton feat. Kid Cudi

#124: That magic is making me blush!

Trump’s 21^st Surprise Birthday, The Bee Publika :)

I’ve developed this need to start blogging again because I know that my childhood and school friends read this. It’s apparently a way for them to keep up with the life around us, a way for them to catch up and see how I’m doing. But, there’s just too much to say, so I am just going to point out the stuffs that have happened until today.

• I am finally done with my internship as a Technical Support Engineer Trainee under Drilling Services with one of the best oil and gas service company; Baker Hughes Inc. And I gained so much experiences and also friends (of all ages). Such a golden exposure (I was given the opportunity to go to Labuan for a drilling training!). Was indeed the luckiest girl! I actually went back there a week after I’m done, for a quick lunch with the HR and Sara, and gave the department a short visit (because I have been missing them so much!). So grateful that we’re like a family in the department :)
• My 5^th semester just started :D Pretty rough in the beginning, but slowly coping up with all of the subjects, adjusting my (overly) love towards the oil and gas engineering industry back into geology. Repaired my relationships with people, friends around. So, I am currently doing good :)
• Started on my thesis or final year project (FYP) already! Decided to venture into the oil and gas field (of course), so took the opportunity to do a project based on well log analysis and petrophysics. It has always amazed me how a friend of mine in Baker Hughes interpret data petrophysically, and now I have the chance to! So, I am very excited to see where this is going to take me. Although, I had a down moment while doing my thesis proposal when there’s a few who totally psycho-ed me down, but hey I’m all good, yeap Tasya as always.
• Attended the Juniors’ Interaction Day with the 2^nd Years. I came as a 3^rd year senior buddy this time. How time flies, right? It still feels like it was just yesterday that I was in that hall, sitting as a 1^st year junior with my 3^rd year buddy; Kak Tety, and was amused by how she could achieved such high CGPA and be so successful in whatever she’s currently doing. And now, here I am, sitting and surrounded by my 1^st year juniors; Thevetia, Maziah, In, Ariff, Zariq and Afiq! And, that is exactly how they felt towards me now. I guess, all of my hard work is slowly paying off now, ahhh what a relieve, Alhamdulillah ;)
• Yes, that time of the year again! It’s the famous UM Law Mock Trial, yaaay! This year’s mock trial has a theme of “Gampang”, presenting few fresh and familiar faces. The most exciting part was when a friend of mine; Imran Osman is actually one of the casts! Overall, this year’s mock trial was good, not disappointing but a bit blunt compared to last year’s. Still prefer last year’s, but hey there’s always room for improvement right? I’m sure next year’s will be reaaaally good! Btw, good job, Team 2012! Can’t wait to attend next year’s. Shahrul Akmal, you’re gonna get me 10 tickets!!!
• Yeap, I also attended my first Majlis Anugerah Dekan :D Was so excited and felt so touched and grateful for it, especially when our Head of Department; Dr. Ng came and said that he is proud to have this much of students on the Dean’s List. He is forever such a sweetheart :’)
• We gave Trump a surprise birthday celebration (again) this year! I have to say that Trump is one very lucky guy as he always has this bunch of friends around him that will always appreciate him as a friend; always. Lucky boy! Thanks Siti and Ika for conducting such a cute celebration at The Bee, Publika :) Happy Birthday again, Zulhisyam Zaibuddin (you will forever be my favourite best friend ehehe). Later after that, I had my lepak session with my boys at Pelita Bangsar, oh God, how I’ve missed such late night sessions up til 5 in the morning. Haikal’s idea, as crazy as always!
• What else? Oh yes. I am shortlisted for the Conoco Phillips (an oil and gas company) Award/Reward/Scholarship! :D My dream is almost achieved, Syukur Alhamdulillah. I want (need) this so bad, I hope I’ll get to attend the Petroleum Geology workshop next week and get picked. This is such a huge deal for me, oh well, for me to have a much brighter future. So, please, insyaAllah, aamiiinnn :)
• I CUT MY HAIR SHORT BY THE WAY!  And met my former high school classmates for Jeyapriya’s 21^st Birthday Party in PJ. Ohh, Assuntarians get prettier as we aged ♥

I guess that’s all up until now? My life is pretty much like a puzzle in place right now. Yes, I am very content and happy with it. Have a great day ahead, readers!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Kiss by Carly Rae Jepsen

#122: Well, I wish that I was a Fixer.

Punch me right in the face now. Lately, I’ve been so emotional with things (I cried over stupid things like thesis proposal because someone just played a psychology game with my mind, I’m such a weak creature…) and being emotionally weak isn’t my nature. So, yes I need someone to punch me in the face, in the stomach and tell me “Tasya, you are not you right now, so put yourself together, now!” Maybe this is due to my mixed and confused feelings towards certain things, people. My semester started off pretty bad. (Yeap here goes another semester opener post, yawn all you want but I am still writing one) As bad as “I would do anything to go back having internship for the rest of my life and not see some people that will mess my head with their stupid drama”. I was at my laziest state ever, and none of the subjects that I’m taking this semester amuse me. NONE. And I’m already like “… How on Earth will I ever survive this semester doing something that I dislike and with such annoying bunch around? (not everyone though, just a few)” Such a bad start that there’s this one point I actually felt like I was out of place. I still remember how I do not want to get up the first morning of class and how I do not want to eat anything because I was just not in the mood. I still remember how I felt so awkward with people I’ve known for 2 years around me. Where does all that crazy strange feelings came from? Why isn’t it as exciting as it was when I was in the first and second year? I actually thought I was losing the college fun. Such a depressing semester indeed; I thought.

And then a few weeks after that, everything started to be fine. Just fine, just in place. And it kills me because I can’t stop looking for the answers to my “What have I done to deserve such good things around me and stop all those depressions that I’ve been getting a few weeks ago?” questions. It’s not like I’m not grateful to be granted with such happiness, but I just want to know why me, why am I showered with such happiness. So in order to balance out whatever I’m feeling and getting (and also to show how grateful I am towards all these really good things that I’ve been getting), I thought I should share my piece of success and happiness with people around. I started to develop these motherly idiosyncrasies and started to give back my happiness in a form of helping people around. I said yes to being a buddy to a group of first year juniors and that actually made me realize how comforting it is to have people younger than you calling you “Kak” and act all really cute and young with you. I just had this feeling of the need to help or give back what I’ve gotten from my seniors to those younger ones. IT FELT REALLY GOOD. Now that I know more juniors, and helped more of them, it actually gave me this motherly or sisterly or caring sense in me which I think I’ve been lacking of all this while. So thank you juniors. You girls/guys are like my younger sisters/brothers.

Also, I’ve been getting all these sadness of people breaking up around me. My friends themselves. I am such a bad relationship advisor so I couldn’t help much and that frustrates me because all that I could do was just shower them with “Are you okay?” “Are you sad?” “Come on! Live life, and go with the flow, you’ll find someone along it someday. For now, stop being sad and have fun!” yes I did that being aware of how hard is it to be done. Whatever happened to them actually made me prepare for more heartbroken moments that I will go through in the future. So thanks to that too.

I am now more aware of things. Like, I know happiness doesn’t usually last. So, whatever that makes me happy right now, I am going to hold onto it until it breaks me. I am going to exaggerate my happiness because I can. I am going to be overly excited about my happiness although you will find me annoyingly repeating it all the time. Because, this happiness, it doesn’t come all the time. I know that one day, somebody else will take away this happiness from me and I will be heartbroken then. And I will annoyingly say that I’m sad all the time, and then I will be stronger, and then another happiness will come and then the cycle repeats, and I will be perfectly fine having a life with that kind of cycle. I am now accepting life in a better way.

By the way, I’m developing more love for my coursemates (because hey let’s be honest, we are all getting closer by day), so I really cannot imagine how things would end in 3 semesters time. Can we all just stop all the inside issues that we have with one another and just cherish these last 3 semesters that we have together? I know I am not all that good, nice or whatever, but those were the immature days. I apologize for my bluntness. I teared up during the recent seniors’ farewell listening to each of their speech, so I would want my tears in the future (during our farewell dinner) be tears of joy instead of regrets of not spending enough time with all of us.

For now, I am just going with the flow, see where this takes me. So, let’s stop being sad and live life as it is!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Take a Walk by Passion Pitt

#118: This is the gift and it comes with a price.

Hi dear readers and followers,

I know my hiatus status has been extended for a bit too long. So much stuff has been happening and I barely catch a breath to sum up everything and put them in my blog. It’s true, as we get older, the busier we would actually get. I used to have this mind set where everything will be like “free as a bird” thing after high school. Unfortunately, that thought is just... a failure. It became harder to meet anyone or even have a pinch of time to do something after high school ended. Life just could not get any less busy.

I have always have this habit of wrapping up every semester and read back on how much has it changed for just a semester. And to my surprise, each semester tells its very own story, with such unexpected drama. It’s like each semester of mine is like a Gossip Girl season, okay bad metaphor but it is sort of. Anyways, going to do a quick sum up of my 4^th semester in Applied Geology and truth to be told, this semester has got to be my favourite. The words of “After a hurricane, comes a rainbow” become true in this semester, or it could be the semester’s tagline, hehehe.

Semester 4 started pretty bad. Remember what happened during the fieldwork before? Broken relationships and then massive heart breaks. Then it slowly turned the other way around. Broken hearts are mended, and things just gradually got better. Got over my fear of heights by successfully completed the rock climbing session! Such an achievement. Then my grips started to lose when I faced a few misunderstandings within my close friends and to make it short, things were never the same anymore. The same week when I realized that my friendships are on rocks with few, that is when another drama of annoyance in the course happened. Such a heartbreaking week (well, the most heartbreaking week in my 20 years of living – like imagine losing your own close friends and at such hard times, you literally do not have anyone to talk to who can actually understand your stupid geology stress. So horrible!) until a senior of mine asked me out. He has been such a life saviour. Listening to my dumb rants, bimbotic thoughts and stupid paranoia over stuffs and projects and truly understand how crappy and stressful geology could be sometimes. Thank you, Salihin J You’re the best senior ever. Anyways, so my life ever since then have been pretty much on cloud nine and on top of the game although exam weeks were so rough. I swear I could say that my blood might have been thickened by Redbull liquid. So dangerous, but that’s what have been keeping me up and giving energy. And the results? Well, you’re looking at a Dean’s List achiever :D Syukur Alhamdulillah for the rezeki and nikmat, Ya Allah :’) I believe this is all a results of how rough I’ve been through.

Pretty much that’s it for Semester 4? Yes. Bad start to a great ending. I hope my industrial training would be a great one too, insyaAllah J Till then, have a great day, dear readers!

Loves, xx

Listening to: It’s Nice To Be Alive by Ball Park Music

#113: This is too good.

♥

God! It has been ages since I last update my blog. Seems like I’m losing the ability of transferring my anger, disappointment, happiness, excitement into this piece of thing called blog. I’m actually pretty glad that I can still remember what is it called as.. looking at my possibility of being diagnosed of Alzheimer stage 1 (okay that’s a joke) but really. I kept losing all of my stuffs; pendrive, memory card, clips, keys, BlackBerry!!, clothes, I mean seriously you name it! So, here I am decided to put this on my blog before I lose the memory of it (I really sounded like a grandmother now ehehh).

Last Saturday, a few of my Geology and Medic friends came out with the idea to have a Paintball Game (I actually totally forgot about it until a day before it -.- Yes, you may slap me now). So, we had 4 cars, convoyed all the way to Gombak, to Dusun Ali King Paintball. Me, Haikal, Hisye, Ain, Ikin, Luqman Keme, Nazmi, Ninie, Fiza, Adi, Afiq, Haziq, Am, Rani, Ogy, Hafiz and Ganyu! It was a sweet combination of UM Geology, Medic, Engineering, Media and also Philippines Arts Language students. My car mates are the best ohmygod I swear to god (HI I LOVE YOU GUYS!). I’m gonna be honest as I write this, I am actually enjoying making new friends and connections around UM, really (like how I made friends with other Handball and Netball girls). It feels so good to just mingle around and for once not care about what others would actually say about me.

So, we were divided into 2 Paintball Teams; Pendekar Mustar & Pendekar Laut (Laut, yeah I know right? Hahahaha!). My team was called Pendekar Mustar (blame Haikal for this please heh hehh) and my captain was yaaaa so predictable kan Haikal lah of course. The team mates (best ever please) are Ikin, Ninie, (Princess Top Model)Nazmi, Haziq, Adi and Afiq ♥ We had 4 games, each one has it’s own sore level I must say. I hate the one in the jungle the most, the place where I sprained my ankle (such a bad timing and place). The games were just so good I swear, despite of the bruises and injuries, I had so much fun that I can still jump around with my sprained ankle! :p

As usual, these people wouldn’t want to go back until we reached the next day (after 12am). So, we drove all the way from KL to Putrajaya for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. My car went back to UM to have bath and on our way to and fro was an epic madness (in a really good way)! I have never seen Hisye unleash his wild crazy side until that moment in the car. We got stuck in the traffic jam in Putrajaya for more than an hour with the car’s petrol being really low so turning on the air conditioner wasn’t an option that I actually wanted to cry so badly because I have a really low tolerance towards hot condition. Then the boys (Nazmi, Luqman & Hisye) started singing their hearts out, shaking the car into a really crazily hectic one. We arrived at the festival around 6+, so the weather was really nice and breezy, and we could see the hot air balloons being released one by one, it was so beautiful! :D Then we headed to Taman Warisan for our dinner after Nazmi made his Berita Sensasi video hahaha.

We continued the madness all the way back to KL. We went to Wangsa Walk for our midnight karaoke and bowling session! Seriously insane, but super fun. Rani’s car made me, Haikal, Hisye and Nazmi wait outside Wangsa Walk for more than an hour without any reason. But, it made me realized how much I love sitting around and just talk and joke over craps around. So many inside jokes, insane because I have never laughed that much (besides being with Pakka & Dayat of course). The karaoke session was (I do not know how many times I’m gonna say this madness, insane, crazy and other similar words) just so hilarious and maniac. Haikal, Hisye and Luqman is a crazy trio, they basically just scream at the mic instead of singing and Nazmi was such a singing diva, he was so good! :p We went back around 2+ in the morning, and my car mates got crazier that I and Haikal’s head formed a major headache -.- They then had a drink and I decided to go back early because my sprained ankle was really killing meh!

I’VE NEVER HAD IT THIS GOOD, GUYS. I mean seriously, thank you so much! We may only know each other for just awhile but it was so much fun! If I could kiss on the cheek of each of yours, I really would.

Loves, xx

Listening to: We Are Young by Fun

#112: Happiness hit her like a train on a track.

Rock Climbing!

You know the perks of doing something to overcome your fear? For instance, if you have a fear of height, and you go for bungee jumping or maybe rock climbing to overcome it. That feeling when you succeed in the war of going against the fear is just indescribably wonderful. Such a beautiful feeling.

I managed to reach the top in Rock Climbing despite of my slight of fear in height. I am this kick-ass goldstar girl that managed to overcome her fear *throws confetti and pats back* :D It all happened so last minute in a blink of an eye. Haikal texted me (mamat ni tak ajak tau, he gave me a statement to get ready and he’ll pick up -.-) and it took me awhile to brain it because he has never mention about it before and boooom he asked me to get ready for it. He is forever an unpredictable guy.

We made our way to Putrajaya Wall Climbing (with Haikal, Ain, Ikin and Nazmi), and met up with our senior; Affan there. Thank you so much Affan for the guide and training! It was an amazing experience ;) I just realized that I’m such a lazy pig that I refused to brain out my path to reach the top hahaha. I kept on shouting “Okay which rock should I step next guys?!!??” Well, not being a diva but I hate using my brain (that explains my bimbotic act at times).

I also succeed in becoming a ‘Belay’! (If in cheerleading context, a belay is like the base to the flyer. Comprendre?) and I got my hand a really badass blister due to belaying the fattyass Haikal (ohh I named him Gajah Gemok! Cuteeeee kan?!!? PLS SAY YESS!!!) I totally didn’t expect him to weigh that much okay, I actually floated up while belaying him -.- So heavy lah pls. And as usual he just had to take revenge on me, so he purposely let me fall abit while him belaying me. ME & HIM CAN NEVER STOP ARGUING. Drama betul tau.

OMFG, Nazmi is so cute okay! He went up halfway being so bising and he suddenly stopped halfway. I swear to God, we thought he cried. He refused to move or even nod his head for like 15 minutes. We got panicked and we quickly pulled him down. Was the funniest scene ever I swear!

We were there for like 7 hours! Craaaazy but it was fun. Then we headed to Taman Warisan for our super late lunch. OMG.. Taman Warisan Putrajaya brings back so much memories okay erkk!

Later at night, we headed out to IOI Mall Puchong. I swear, I have never imagined bringing my friends there.. I mean it has always been that only place where I could look really horrible wearing shorts and tshirt and not bump into anyone that I know of. So yaaaaa, we went there -.- and then we just lingered around town not knowing what to do. I bet you can guess who the driver was. (the only lunatic driver who goes on roundabout like nobody’s business; Haikal!). He kept on losing focus when I sit with him in the front, God knows why. But I somehow love screaming and panicking in his face hahahaha. We ended up having supper in William’s! :D And oh well he just had to pick on me non-stoply -.- I do not know to feel horrible or just adapt to it.. or I could use a punch on his face. HAHAHHA OKAY BRO.

I call him Gajah Gemok, pls!

Loves, xx

Listening to: Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry